Love and Death in Katmnadu

                                          

When I first saw the book sitting on my dad's bookshelf at home several years ago, I thought to myself do I really want to read another version of the same story? So every time I went back home I'd skip past Love and Death in Kathmandu and look for something new. This time when I went back, however, I felt somewhat drawn to the book; and so I told myself I'd give it a try. 

In many ways the story was what I had expected and one that I had heard many times before. But the book also brought back images of events I never thought had really registered in my mind; it evoked feelings that I hadn't realized I could feel about the massacre.

The first bit was a recap into the history or Nepal- an explaination of the culture, significance of people, places and days in as a simple way as possible. It was interesting to see this from the outside- from someone who hadn't been immersed in the culture that it became a part of life. Though there were a few things that I wasn't quite sure if it was fully accurate or not... But I won't get to nitty gritty on those details. And I must admit, I still don't understand the history of the Ranas, Shahs and PMs and will be waiting for the day it gets turned into a tv series or movie of some sort! 

What really intrigued me, however, were the interviews with people who's names I'd heard through conversations during family gatherings and in the media. And images from events from back then started popping up in my mind as I was reading. But I think the most vivid memories that were evoked were of funeral procession of the King and Queen and the broadcast of a single tune on nearly every media channel.

While this book isn't one of, what I would call, my favourites, it surely is one that has made quite an impression on me. And I that has more to do with how it has conjured up images and feelings that I had forgotten as well as made me feel and think about the royal family, massacre and their effects on the general public in Nepal. 

Something to Make You Go Hmmm....

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts..

By: Oprah Winfrey
Source: Facebook Post that someone 'Shared'

Finding Your Place

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Having heard this so many times, it makes you think, do we really need to follow the ways of others when in a foreign country or place? After 3 years in Bangkok I learned that by doing as the Thais did, it wasn't only about respecting their culture and their way of life, but it was also about survival. 

Bullying the Young One on a Trip to Koh Samui

When I first arrived in Bangkok, I was polite, courteous and in general nice to everyone. But as the months went on and through the exposure I had with my friends, I realized that being nice was not getting me anywhere; I had to learn where and when to be nice and when to be.... not so nice. Slowly I felt myself becoming stuck up, mean and doing things just to get what I wanted. But at that time, I just thought I was adapting to my surroundings. 

Then, I came here to Melbourne. Things were different. I realized I didn't have to have my guard up so much. I was able to calm down and relax. People were nicer; or at least they didn't hide behind a facade the way they did in Bangkok, so you knew when you need to take your stand. I could become a person I, myself, actually liked once again. 

And this big change that I could see in myself made me think whether we need to find places that suit us. And by suiting us, I don't mean going to a foreign place and fitting yourself into the culture and environment, but finding a place that brings the best out of you. Changing to suit the new place is inevitable; but if you're changing for the worst, you really need to stop and think if this is the place you want or rather, should be. 

Finding the Right Place with the Right Person

Shoes for Sale!!!!

The other day I went and bought a pair of shoes which I knew wasn't really me... but thought I'd give a try...

And now I've realized it's better that I find someone else who would cherish these heels. 

These golden Guess strappy heels look ultra sexy and sleek... so why am I selling them?

Well I'm not sure if it's the same for those of you reading this, but for me, I have a certain "type" of shoes, clothes and bags that when I look at just scream "URNA". And I guess that's why we all have our own sense of style... every now and then we all want to explore and try new things (that's what I did by buying these shoes); sometimes it works and we adopt a new style and sometimes it fails and we end up throwing very good things away. 

So if you are looking for a pair of GORGEOUS strappy heels (or know anyone who is), please go to my Ebay page and make sure these heels get shown off! 

On the page there is just one picture so I've put more pictures below!

I'm back!

It's been quite a while that I haven't written anything and as each weekend goes by I feel this nagging feeling inside me that reminds me that my blog is just sitting there, untouched, unread, and if it were a notebook it'd be literally collecting dust! But week after week one thing or the other kept popping up leaving me with little or no time (and energy) to sit down and write something worth reading.

Even this, I'm not sure how worthy it'll be, but thought I'd write a little something to explain my absence!

My New Car- Punte!

Well about a month back I started a new job (which is probably obvious from my previous posts ~changes~, full time vs. part time and even ~phases~ in it's own way). And a few weeks into the job the Programs Manager (who I was to be working with) resigned.... which meant I was doing a little more than what I thought I'd be doing. As if the stress of a new job and two people's work wasn't enough I had my driving test as well (which I passed with flying colors)! 

I slowly and steadily got passed those hurdles, just to realize that I was coming down with a cold. One of those colds that makes your whole body ache. But did I get a chance to relax and take it easy? Nooo... everyone else was falling sick so I had to make sure I could fill in gaps wherever needed. So much of relaxing and recuperating!

Shrija, me and Pranita

And finally when I felt like I was starting to feel better, two friends from Sydney dropped by for a Hen's night here in Melbourne. Friends from Sydney + Hen's night certainly does NOT equal to getting any rest! I had a great weekend, no doubt, but certainly no rest (let alone the time to sit and write anything).

So here I am, on my RDO... having finished a long overdue house clean up... writing a few lines just to show that I'm still here and have a quite a few topics in mind I'll be writing about soon! So hope you'll be back to read more :)

Cheeeeese!

~Phases~

It's funny how life changes you and your priorities. This actually crossed my mind when I was going through my email inbox. I'm one of those people who don't like deleting emails or throwing away letters. Yup... I have separate folders for each year and all email received in a particular year is moved into the respective folder!

So ya, the other day I was going through my email and just skimming through some of the mail from the previous years that I exchanged with my best friends. And it was quite remarkable how the topic of the emails have changed so much!

New Friends Circle in Bkk

During the first year that we all went our separate ways to start Uni life, the topic of the emails revolved mainly on our new lives- new friends we made, new places we visited and how much we missed each other. Looking back, our main concern was having enough money to travel and shop! And slowly as we got used to our new lives, conversations gradually shifted to the topic of cute boys and crushes!

What a Difference!

As each of us began to finish our undergrad degrees (each at different times) emails started to be mostly about asking each other what to do next. "Should I work a little before starting grad school or just do my masters and get it out of the way? Help me guys!" Yup, each of us went through that "Oh my god, I'm done with college, now what!" phase. That also slowly started to pass as each of us pursued our educational calling. And then emails again were about how different a masters degree is and how different the place is (as we all ended up doing our masters at a different university and different place than our undergrad degree).

Source: OG Love

Soon enough our conversations loomed around love... and meeting the one. Boy oh boy was that a crazy time for all of us! Without giving away too much, let's just say there were many ups and downs, but looking back now we each have stories to laugh about. And now... conversations are about careers and jobs! And I have a feeling... verrry soon conversations will be about marriage (and babies- hopefully that will still be several years away!)

I guess this ties back to my earlier post about changes. Things in our life are constantly changing and to cope with these changes we need to re-prioritize to make sure that we are moving ahead. But I must admit it's funny how one day you're biggest priority is deciding which subject to take up at Uni and the next thing you know you're having to decide what career path to take!

Pictures:
OG Love: http://keturahweathers.theworldrace.org/?filename=og-love

~Piece of Cake~

The other day I received an email from my mom just checking to see that I'm still okay and wondering why I haven't been in touch. Along with that she forwarded a powerpoint slide. The forwarded powerpoint slides that my mom normally sends are interesting; but last night (after a long working week) when I saw yet another slideshow I just felt like, okay not really something I want to go through at the moment. So I just ignored it and went to bed. On waking up this morning I thought, my mom thought I'd enjoy it so mind as well have a look. And now I'm really happy I did go through it because it made a lot of sense to me.

So.... I thought I'd share it with everyone here. I just want to declare that none of this was written by me; it's all from a powerpoint slide show which I thought is worthy to share. On occasion I have paraphrased the words from the slides as the slideshow is largely about God and his mysterious ways... So for those of you not believing in God per se, you can look at it the way I did- not God's doing but just life and karma. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Sometime we ask ourselves: what did I do to deserve this? Why do these things happen to me? Here is a little story to illustrate why. One day a daughter tells her mom how everything is going wrong for her. She's failed an exam; her boyfriend has dumped her for another girl. And her mom, like all moms, knew just how to make her daughter feel better. She gave her a big hug

Raw Ingredients

Mom: Would you like a piece of cake? Daughter: Of course! You know how much I like cake.

Mom: Here drink some of this cooking oil.

Daughter: Eww yuck!

Mom: How about a couple of raw eggs?

Daughter: Are you kidding me?

Mom: How about a little flour?

Daughter: Mom, I'll get sick!

Mom: All of these things uncooked taste horrible. But if you put them together, what do you get? A delicious cake!

Life works in a similar, yet mysterious way. When horrible things are happening to us we don't realize why they are happening or where they will lead us. Most of the time we'll find that we don't need to settle for those raw ingredients of life, but rather, if we are patient we can be assured that something rather delicious is bound to come along.

At the end of this powerpoint it really made me think, how true is that! This is something that I have been talking about with my friends for quite awhile now. Whenever something bad happens to any one of us, we all agree that there is a reason that such a thing happened and something good will eventually come out of it (though at the time you think that nothing good could ever possibly come from that). And a few weeks later or even several months later we thank God, or what ever greater force there is out there, for making things the way they are.

I couldn't find the Walnuts so ended up decorating this Mud Cake with Skittles!

Pictures: Oil http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/how-olive-oil-works.htm/printable Eggs http://www.virginmedia.com/homefamily/fooddrink/food-poisoners.php?ssid=5 Flour http://www.myrecipes.com/recipes/gallery/0,28548,1859001_1798718,00.html